Day 2 Lockdown – Silence, does nobody want me?
Knowing sustained unemployment due to Covid-19 would not pay my mortgage, I had spent the previous weekend dropping off my CV to various employers locally, but had heard nothing. Had I mis-typed my mobile number, was my email inbox not working… click refresh… still nothing? How odd! In my mind, I anticipated schools closing would create a clamour for new employee’s … new roles for people like me!
Conversations in my head were reasoning why firms had not got in touch… ‘they have just arrived in the office and are working out their strategy’… ‘they are short-listing’… ‘maybe the personnel staff are self-isolating at home?’ All side-stepping the uncomfortable reality that they might not want me!
It was not until I stopped for a 20-minute body scan mid-afternoon that I realised what a crescendo of thoughts had been building in my mind all morning. Like a swollen river, I seemed quite smooth on the surface, but stick a toe below the surface and there all sorts of torrents and eddies of thoughts were swirling! Sometimes you simply don’t know how busy the mind is, until you stop and test the water. Much calmer by the time I finished my practice – and with a clearer grasp of reality… ‘they will get in touch if they need me… whether I think about it all day… or not think about it at all!’